Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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