I love black thongs
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
