you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think we might need a safe word for this...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
