Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
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