So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
