Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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