I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
