i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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