Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
