I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I didn't shave. On purpose
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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