OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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