i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
