College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
