i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so let's talk penis.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
