Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
