at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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