i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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