im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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