Have you finally orgasmed yet?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
