the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
