piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
