i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
