Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
