Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
