hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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