11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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