Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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