i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
