Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
