My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
