5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
