dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
