Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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