she smelled like a LAN party
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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