She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
