kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
