I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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