Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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