meet me or not, i'm out of control
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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