Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
