I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
