The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
