Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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