if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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