no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
