Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
