Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
