honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
