I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
