The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
