My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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