I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
