I think I died a long time ago.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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